KidMontauk

This is a tribute to my father, Clifford E. Bowen Jr, who passed away just two days ago after a very long battle with Acute Leukemia.  I had the privilege to be by his side and with him before he embarked on his new journey.  My father was my teacher, confidant and friend.  He gave me more gifts than I would ever expect from a parent.  He was an extraordinary  man but his gift of understanding the human condition and giving good advice and guidance was his strength.  He was also an excellent athlete, cook, manager, lover of the arts and philosophy, world traveler and one of the funniest people I knew.

One of the pearls of wisdom that he gave to me years ago was to “Tend to my garden”.  This was when we were in Italy together passing a beautiful home garden area.  He said “whether its literal or metaphoric, keep focus on the things that nourish you, enrich you and ground you”.   Those words have spoken to me time and time again over the past years and then again this summer as I took it more literally.  Having not been a seasoned gardener, I heard his words as I tried to keep focus on something when I had the distractions of illness and disease right before me.  I was so happy to bring him zucchini and herbs because one of his favorite things to do was cook and eat with his family.  We made it a point up until his last day to eat with him and “break bread together”.

My father became sick in May of 2009, just one month after I dreamed up KidMontauk.com and I’ve had these two journeys paralleling each other since then.  They both fed each other in a strange way.  Dad gave me the courage to try new things, to take chances and always speak my voice.  He told me to “follow my bliss” at a very young age, something I encourage anyone to do now.  I feel so honored to have been his child and will live in his light always.

August is the time that we enjoy the beautiful harvests from our gardens or local farms.   We now reap the benefits of our efforts but the gifts that we receive from our plantings come throughout the process.

Looking back, my garden gave me a sense of accomplishment and a very grounding sense even when we were out there on chilly, wet, spring days, a type of morning that is so hard to even imagine now.  Seeing the first seedlings come up made my girls squeal with delight and over time as the garden took on many forms and phases, I watched my children, husband and I share in this fulfilling sense of pride and still curiosity for what will unfold.  There were lessons learned like not to plant potatoes next to zucchini because they have an adverse effect on each other we lost some crops and took chances with growing corn and, well, lucky us, we got some of the most beautiful corn on the east end of LI.  My older daughter has been inviting guests down to see our untamed adventure with great satisfaction and joy as she has taken ownership at the age of 4.   If you have ever given or received something grown at home, you understand the nourishing feeling you get from the transaction with a friend or neighbor.

The Celebration- whether you enjoy your harvest alone, with family, friends or the larger community celebrate the good earth and its bounty.  Just the other day friends of ours had what they call FOTLAS “Food From The Land And Sea”- a potluck dinner where everyone brought something grown, caught or brewed on Eastern LI.  It reminds you of what life is all about- sharing with those you love and taking time to celebrate our gift of life and the good earth we live on.  Preparing for the dinner was therapeutic as well.  Knowing my Dad was on his final days and being so far from him for two days was as difficult as you could imagine.  My sole purpose for being in Montauk was to spend time with my children after not seeing them for a week.  To prepare for the dinner, we grilled eggplant and zucchini.  While I cut the vegetables, my girls both had a food “paint brush” and painted all of the veggies with oil and vinegar.  Not only did it keep them busy for an unusual amount of time, they also had so much fun while actually assisting me and contributing to the meal to come.  It was lovely.

The day after my father died, I tended to his back yard garden because it was one of the many tasks left undone.  It was very comforting.  And now as I continue on after this great loss, I will hear these words of wisdom from my father and keep gratitude with me.

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 19th, 2010 at 3:25 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.